"Do you have many other friends, Manar? Besides the one that you stick with all the time?" a professor once asked me toward the end of my senior year in college.
That question has resonated with me since the day I was asked it. My undergraduate institution put me in a position where I was often "one of a few,""one of two," and then during my senior year, "the only one." I was accustomed to it. I did my part since the first month as a freshman. I wanted my time to be different than my time in high school, where I was quieter and was not as open to being a representative as I promised to be in college. And I did my part, I don't know how well, but I did what I could do.
Let me explain the context of that question that my professor asked me before you think I'm an antisocial human with no friends. I worked with the mindset of "full-steam ahead" over the 4 years. If there was room for anything exta, I found things to add. Even now that I am not in school, I am still finding additional ways to remain busy. The way that I have functioned for so long as this "representative" has been that if there is a problem, you don't stop working, you work harder.
We didn't like the "stares" on campus, so we started an organization to give students a place to ask us questions in a safe environment and show that we were more than happy to answer them. We were afraid after the Chapel Hill shooting of the three Muslim students, so we held an Islamophobia event on campus. After the Paris attacks, I could not sit around and wait for someone to say something to me about radical Muslims, so I volunteered to hold Q&A's in any religion class at my institution that would have me.
When there was a problem, I didn't stop working, I worked harder.
About a year ago, my family and I were invited to an interfaith dialogue dinner. There was another Muslim family and three Evangelical Christian families involved. Since then, we've met almost once every month, each time a different family hosting. The conversations began with introductions from things as simple as "Why are you here?" to "What does faith mean to you?" The discussions that arise as a result of these questions have brought us closer to each other, and I have found myself opening up to these friends that I have not known for long in comparison to other friends I have.
Yesterday, my family hosted this month's dinner. We were about 15 people at the dinner table, sharing food, stories, and laughter. Fifteen different stories shared moments of love and understanding. We discussed our concerns and backgrounds with each of our individual experiences intertwined and diverting from each other at various points.
When we participated in these discussions, we were hoping to learn more about our neighbors. One of our friends said that his purpose for starting a group like this was because the Bible says to "love thy neighbor," and since people of other faiths were members of his community, he felt obligated to get to know them and develop an understanding of these other faiths.
To go back to my professor's question, I had many friends who I spoke to, studied with, and worked on organizations with. I am a pretty social person, so I would say the number of people I know is not small. However, my close friends, my inner circle, the friends I tell my concerns to, those are different. They're a smaller group, and they're people I am more picky about I will admit.
I will not deny that my life is guided by my faith. Therefore, those I hold very close to me are those who are guided by faith as well. They are those who I can say "I am pursuing my career because it allows me to serve God" and they understand. They are those who I ask to wish me good luck, and they respond by saying they will pray for me. They are those who I will express my stresses by wondering what God's plan is and learning to trust it, and they will find ways to encourage me to do so or tell me similar moments they have felt that way as well.
Those 15 people I sat at dinner with reminded me of why we are allowed to be picky about who we choose to be close to us. It is easy and comfortable to sit with a group of friends who do not question me when I need to take a few minutes to pray. It is comforting to sit amongst friends who remind me of the reasons why God has my back. It is a beautiful thing to be loved by people because I am a fellow believer.
Those who were the closest to me as a student were believers. I did not limit the people I socialized with to religion, but I did restrict who I spoke about certain things with. I did not care that they were Muslim; I cared that they believed in God. Not everyone will agree with this, but I have found the most solace in this understanding and continuous learning that I have gained by sitting across from someone on a dinner table who believes in God in similar and differing ways than myself. The love that people can have for one another for the sake of God is an overwhelming, but beautiful thing.
Yesterday, my family hosted this month's dinner. We were about 15 people at the dinner table, sharing food, stories, and laughter. Fifteen different stories shared moments of love and understanding. We discussed our concerns and backgrounds with each of our individual experiences intertwined and diverting from each other at various points.
When we participated in these discussions, we were hoping to learn more about our neighbors. One of our friends said that his purpose for starting a group like this was because the Bible says to "love thy neighbor," and since people of other faiths were members of his community, he felt obligated to get to know them and develop an understanding of these other faiths.
To go back to my professor's question, I had many friends who I spoke to, studied with, and worked on organizations with. I am a pretty social person, so I would say the number of people I know is not small. However, my close friends, my inner circle, the friends I tell my concerns to, those are different. They're a smaller group, and they're people I am more picky about I will admit.
I will not deny that my life is guided by my faith. Therefore, those I hold very close to me are those who are guided by faith as well. They are those who I can say "I am pursuing my career because it allows me to serve God" and they understand. They are those who I ask to wish me good luck, and they respond by saying they will pray for me. They are those who I will express my stresses by wondering what God's plan is and learning to trust it, and they will find ways to encourage me to do so or tell me similar moments they have felt that way as well.
Those 15 people I sat at dinner with reminded me of why we are allowed to be picky about who we choose to be close to us. It is easy and comfortable to sit with a group of friends who do not question me when I need to take a few minutes to pray. It is comforting to sit amongst friends who remind me of the reasons why God has my back. It is a beautiful thing to be loved by people because I am a fellow believer.
Those who were the closest to me as a student were believers. I did not limit the people I socialized with to religion, but I did restrict who I spoke about certain things with. I did not care that they were Muslim; I cared that they believed in God. Not everyone will agree with this, but I have found the most solace in this understanding and continuous learning that I have gained by sitting across from someone on a dinner table who believes in God in similar and differing ways than myself. The love that people can have for one another for the sake of God is an overwhelming, but beautiful thing.
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