Metaphors & Medicine

A nice thing about not being in school for a few months is that you are not in school. The bad thing about not being in school is NOT being in school, not having distractions or a never-ending to-do list that keeps you pretty busy. I have a lot of time to reflect, which is great, but when I am not swamped in things to do, I feel as though I am watching people go busy like cars speeding past me. It has made me realize just how BUSY we live our lives. One thing after the other, say hello to this person and that, remember to respond to a text and forget another. I have always counted how many years I've aged in association to what grade I'm in, how many years left until graduation, how many years until I can drive, how many years until...etc. This year has not been about counting backward, however. In terms of school, I've felt stagnant. However, that's given me time to think of my life in terms of my age rather than my academic age, which let me tell you is not that ...

As part of this series, I promised to share parts of my application process to getting to medical school. I will be sharing snippets here and there, as I continue to reflect when moments arise on the unique experiences I've had at every interview I've done, with every person I've spoken to. None of them were simply questions. I've received pep talks and support. I've teared up in at least 2 interviews (call me unprofessional, but they were THAT deep). I've had people tell me I'm going to be a great doctor, a simply saying you wouldn't think would mean much until it is coming from an interviewer and you don't remember the last time you told yourself that because of your fear. Here's little snippet of something I read the night before my first interview that has resonated with me since: "Who you are today...that's who you are. Be brave. Be amazing. Be worthy. And every single time you get the chance? Stand up in front of people. Let...

The first time I watched someone die was during my "mock solo" shift at the hospital. I am currently working as a Medical Scribe in the ER, and after several training shifts, we are observed by a trainer for an entire shift and scored at the end of it. It was the first time I had to assume responsibility on my own, so naturally there were nerves. Luckily, that shift was with one of my favorite physicians there, so that part made it a little less nerve-wracking. I knew the shift was going to be a rough one the minute I arrived. The waiting room was packed, all the rooms were swamped with patients, and the physician I was working with was trying his best to take on as many cases as he could even though he had just arrived. My trainer said that day, "I feel bad scoring you for today because of how crazy it is." I took a deep breath and told myself, "Allah knows what He is putting you through. It will be fine in the end." I put all my trust in that. About...

"Do you have many other friends, Manar? Besides the one that you stick with all the time?" a professor once asked me toward the end of my senior year in college. That question has resonated with me since the day I was asked it. My undergraduate institution put me in a position where I was often "one of a few,""one of two," and then during my senior year, "the only one." I was accustomed to it. I did my part since the first month as a freshman. I wanted my time to be different than my time in high school, where I was quieter and was not as open to being a representative as I promised to be in college. And I did my part, I don't know how well, but I did what I could do. Let me explain the context of that question that my professor asked me before you think I'm an antisocial human with no friends. I worked with the mindset of "full-steam ahead" over the 4 years. If there was room for anything exta, I found things to add. E...

" I hate my little sister so much. Everyone thinks she's so cute, but she's actually not," my sister said to me over the phone. "I can't believe you said that about me," she laughed. She was speaking to me from the other side of the world, where she was enjoying the summer weather in Palestine with our mom and brother while I remained in the States. " Do you still think that?" she asked. She had found my childhood diary in one of the drawers in our Palestinian home. The funny thing is I could remember the specific instances that led me to think that of her. My sister had an innocent face, one that hid kind of mischevious action that she may have committed. For example, she was the messier one of the two of us when we shared a room, and yet her expressions always made her appear as though she could have never done such a thing. As badly as I wanted a sister, the 5 year age gap between us often sat among us in our room, divided us at the dinner t...

I have waited for some time for the “right moment” to begin a new section on the blog documenting my gap year. Since I graduated in May, I have continued to look for that moment that would feel like a new page turning that would compel me to find my way back to this blog and write and write and write. I have a lot to share and many moments that have felt like a new page turned in my life. Yet, this moment now, this election feels more significant. It is a new chapter for us all, and this moment is the one that has brought me back here. This moment is the one that has made me think of each action and reaction I’ve had over the past few months and even years, and how each action is now more significant than before. That seems like a loaded description, doesn’t it? Well, for me, the story of this gap year starts here. I hope you will share this experience with me and hold on tight for what the next few months hold and re-experience what I’ve learned from the past few years that a...

This new year of my life is starting out in such a way that I felt compelled to write about it. For one, it has brought me back to writing. What you'll find in this post will probably be a lot of reflective nonsense, but maybe your year started similarly. I hope it did. But the way that mine started is very representative of who I am at this stage in my life. For one, I woke up homesick, which is not all that surprising, but at the same time it is. This is pretty typical during the summer months and warm days that make me take a second to close my eyes and yank myself out of a flashback of me taking a step out of the front door of my grandparents' home into the beating sun. The sound of this morning's call for prayer caught me off guard as I forgot that it was not the mosque next door singing the adhan but rather my dad's iPhone. I was also deleting old emails when I found pictures from my PCRF medical mission trip last summer and realized that at this time last year...