"Make sure to drive within the lines on your way to your house," my brother said to me.
No, this was not one of my driver's ed lessons.
One of my favorite memories involves a big rug that my brother and I used to have, which had streets, houses, and even a race car track all drawn on the rug. We used to collect small cars, Hot Wheel cars amongst others, and named them so we could tell them apart. When we got the rug, it was like our favorite toys finally had a home. The cars spoke to each other, they drove to their homes and "napped," and most importantly they had friendly races in the track.
At the time, the biggest challenge seemed to be to drive the cars within the lines drawn on the rug in soft fabric. There were no distractions or external factors that should make it difficult to stay within the lines unless we wanted to move the cars quickly. And yet, it was still difficult, with the car's control within our fingertips, to keep them moving at a steady and organized pace.
Little did we know at ages 7 and 9 that staying within the lines would be much harder in the real world.
Fast forward a few years and the distractions and external factors made their way into our lives.
Make a choice, make a decision, turn left-or right-or whatever direction suits how you feel that day or who you are friends with in this moment. Next thing you know, the lines on the track are blurred and it is hard to stay within them. Meanwhile, someone else watches you stray away from the lines and try to push you back within them, but you only rebel and drive faster in the opposite direction.
Some say this is just a "teenage phase."
We all go through it.
We struggle to say who we are.
How to define ourselves.
Do we even know who we are to define ourselves?
My understanding of who I was came from how hard I worked and the scores I received as a result.
They reaffirmed to me that I would get to who I dreamed to be at some point. I was focused on the end focused on the end always focused on the end.
Meanwhile, someone else was focusing on the now focusing on the now doing everything that made now feel good and happy and fun.
I always saw that as straying from the lines. But what if I was stuck within the lines too much? Could I have been a stronger older sister, a more fun one? Could I have been less judgement and more understanding? Could I have known about things before they happened?
I worry about any teenager. I see children now and as much as I love them, I fear them even more. I fear their potential because they could do amazing things, but some choose to make amazingly poor decisions. Some turn back and save themselves before they turn into train wrecks.
I see the girls in my youth group, all teenagers. I've watched them grow, literally. I've known most of them for six years. I see their potential, I see it reflected off of their faces, I see it in the moments I dream of their futures, or when they talk about their dreams and aspirations and their faces light up.
I dream for them. And I fear for them.
Right now, most of them are driving within the lines without too much difficulty. They stray away here and there from their innocence and lack of life experience. But there are external factors and distractions that will make their way into their lives, if they have not already. More choices, more choices, more and more choices.
I dream they make the right ones. And I fear they don't.
I think back to my brother and I playing with the cars. We never fought over them. We used to organize them neatly when we finished a day of playing, another successful run down the track completed. We collected them together, grew excited about each addition. There was no one else I shared that excitement with, and that excitement and happiness stretched out like clasped hands keeping us together, no matter how terribly we drove our cars that day.
If you truly care for someone, it will not matter how badly they stray from their lines, or how many times you dream they'll make the decision you believe is the right decision. You will still love them. You will always love them.
No, this was not one of my driver's ed lessons.
One of my favorite memories involves a big rug that my brother and I used to have, which had streets, houses, and even a race car track all drawn on the rug. We used to collect small cars, Hot Wheel cars amongst others, and named them so we could tell them apart. When we got the rug, it was like our favorite toys finally had a home. The cars spoke to each other, they drove to their homes and "napped," and most importantly they had friendly races in the track.
At the time, the biggest challenge seemed to be to drive the cars within the lines drawn on the rug in soft fabric. There were no distractions or external factors that should make it difficult to stay within the lines unless we wanted to move the cars quickly. And yet, it was still difficult, with the car's control within our fingertips, to keep them moving at a steady and organized pace.
Little did we know at ages 7 and 9 that staying within the lines would be much harder in the real world.
Fast forward a few years and the distractions and external factors made their way into our lives.
Make a choice, make a decision, turn left-or right-or whatever direction suits how you feel that day or who you are friends with in this moment. Next thing you know, the lines on the track are blurred and it is hard to stay within them. Meanwhile, someone else watches you stray away from the lines and try to push you back within them, but you only rebel and drive faster in the opposite direction.
Some say this is just a "teenage phase."
We all go through it.
We struggle to say who we are.
How to define ourselves.
Do we even know who we are to define ourselves?
My understanding of who I was came from how hard I worked and the scores I received as a result.
They reaffirmed to me that I would get to who I dreamed to be at some point. I was focused on the end focused on the end always focused on the end.
Meanwhile, someone else was focusing on the now focusing on the now doing everything that made now feel good and happy and fun.
I always saw that as straying from the lines. But what if I was stuck within the lines too much? Could I have been a stronger older sister, a more fun one? Could I have been less judgement and more understanding? Could I have known about things before they happened?
I worry about any teenager. I see children now and as much as I love them, I fear them even more. I fear their potential because they could do amazing things, but some choose to make amazingly poor decisions. Some turn back and save themselves before they turn into train wrecks.
I see the girls in my youth group, all teenagers. I've watched them grow, literally. I've known most of them for six years. I see their potential, I see it reflected off of their faces, I see it in the moments I dream of their futures, or when they talk about their dreams and aspirations and their faces light up.
I dream for them. And I fear for them.
Right now, most of them are driving within the lines without too much difficulty. They stray away here and there from their innocence and lack of life experience. But there are external factors and distractions that will make their way into their lives, if they have not already. More choices, more choices, more and more choices.
I dream they make the right ones. And I fear they don't.
I think back to my brother and I playing with the cars. We never fought over them. We used to organize them neatly when we finished a day of playing, another successful run down the track completed. We collected them together, grew excited about each addition. There was no one else I shared that excitement with, and that excitement and happiness stretched out like clasped hands keeping us together, no matter how terribly we drove our cars that day.
If you truly care for someone, it will not matter how badly they stray from their lines, or how many times you dream they'll make the decision you believe is the right decision. You will still love them. You will always love them.
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