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Words may hurt me, but they can't break me

"Be careful, guys, she might blow up the school."

I remember my breath catching and my mind freezing up in utter shock for a minute when I heard those words come from a boy standing right behind me. We were in the unfortunately long lunch line at school and that boy along with his group of friends were standing right behind my friend and I, laughing their heads off about God knows what (I stopped bothering to listen after I heard "I'm already going to court because of that girl"). But their voices were louder than anyone else's around me, so I could still hear them despite my attempts not to. They were poking the people around them (including my friend and I) and were really annoying us. That was when I turned around in frustration and said, "Do you guys need anything?"
They all looked at me and the one nearest to me in a blue shirt said, "No."
I rolled my eyes and faced the front of the line again, my friend looking at me.

And then he said it.

"Be careful, guys, she might blow up the school."

When they were poking us earlier, I had known they were immature. I just hadn't known how ignorant they were until after one of them had the nerves to say such stereotypical nonsense.

I didn't know what to say, what to do, how to react. But my face heated up, my hands began to shake, and I became tempted to turn out and say every horrible word I could think of.

But I didn't.

Some of you might be thinking that I was weak, that I couldn't stand up for myself, that maybe I was afraid. Trust me, I thought that myself at first. I thought that if I didn't answer back to him, then I'd just be a coward. But no. I like to believe I was the complete opposite of that. Not at first though because I didn't say anything back, and my friend immediately noticed that I had lost my appetite and refused to buy lunch, and I just felt sick from surprise. I was surprised mainly because this was my second year in the school and I hadn't even encountered such rude people even when I was a new student!

Why would he say that to me if he didn't even know me?

That's the million dollar question. Why were there stereotypes? Why did people generalize others in categories? Why did they blame them for something that wasn't there fault?
Why were all Muslims responsible for the 9/11 attacks? Why were all African Americans "ghetto" or they all sagged their pants? Why did foreigners see Americans as rich people?
Why, why, why all these questions?

Because no one has the answers. Despite these questions that arise in the world that we live in, we are forced to accept them and somehow live with the fact that they may cause trouble, especially since they are left unanswered.

However, that doesn't mean that nothing can be done. Rather than being angry at people who ask, we can educate them. We can answer their questions as best as we can and hope that they'll have some fair judgement.

But the boy at my school, he didn't want to learn. He just generalized and said something he'd assumed from something that he'd heard before. Therefore, I couldn't be nice to him back because he wasn't curious to learn about me at all. He was ignorant. Period.

My friends wanted to go up and yell at him, but that wasn't how I handled things. So after great persistence from my friends, I finally decided to tell the Dean. These reasons may seem silly now, but at the moment, I was worried of telling the Dean because:
-I didn't want the boy to get mad and try to think of a comeback
-I didn't want the problem to be bigger than it really was
-I just wanted to avoid the drama
-I didn't think it was worth it

Pay attention to that last reason. It IS worth it. We all go to school and are supposed to see it as a safe place. Maybe we don't always have fun, but we aren't supposed to be afraid to go to school or afraid of the people there. Any kind of bullying is bullying. And that was exactly what the Dean told me when I reported the incident.

Everything was settled and the boy received a warning, and the Dean found me to talk to me. I found his words very comforting and realistic. He said,
"I'm really sorry that you had to hear something like this. These guys, they don't understand. I lived next to Muslims when 9/11 happened and one of my neighbors started saying things to them. Right then, my other neighbors and I made him stop because it wasn't their fault. So just ignore what they said."
And it was very honest and true. But it showed the reality of our situation here. Maybe that'll be hard to change for a while (mind you, I didn't say IMPOSSIBLE), so we should just be able to handle it. It may hurt and sting, but that doesn't mean it should affect us greatly. Who knows, maybe someone who's said anything wrong like that to anyone else will read this blog and see how they've made others feel.

I hope my experience will help you get through yours. I'd love to read comments and feedback :)

-Wishful Dreamer


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