It's a four letter word that nearly every single person in high school is talking about right now: PROM.
Yes, Prom. While to most high school students, prom is THE night to look forward to. Is it wrong to say that I,for one, look forward to graduation more?
If you don't say you're going to prom, you end up getting a lot of "you're going to be the only one left out" or "when we meet a reunion in a few years and talk about prom, you'll be the only one who doesn't have any memories to share" or (my personal favorite) "you will miss out on so much".
I beg to differ.
I'm sorry but what will I miss out on? Dancing? Sweating? Pictures? Hanging out with friends? Dinner? Am I the only one who realizes that these things can be done anywhere or at any other time but prom. But it's PROM.
Maybe I'm being very critical here, maybe not. Some of you will agree with this, while others might disagree and beg for me to get to my point. Well here it is.
As a Muslim, I do not go to prom. Why? Well, here's why. For one, our religion does not promote unnecessary mixing between men and women/boys and girls/males and females/ whatever. But that sounds very formal and boring. So let's look at it in a better way. When you go to a dance, you get to check out a bunch of pretty girls and suited up guys. You may start to have feelings. Butterflies. Sparks. Thoughts. You name it. As a Muslim, could anything happen as a result of those feelings? No. So there's no point in bothering your mind with such unneeded burdens. Yeah, maybe it'll be a night where everyone has fun together. It'll be a time to spend with your fellow classmates, maybe one of the last dances with them if you're graduating. But there are better things you can do than go to prom. At least that's what I think.
Personally, I'd pick a Private Practice marathon over prom. But maybe that's just me. :)
So, fellow Readers, I'm not just here to criticize prom. I'm here to tell fellow Muslim girls like me (or even guys) that there is a way to let your friends know that you can't go to prom. NO they will not think you're weird. In fact, if they are your real friends, they'll respect your decision and may even be interested in the new information you are letting them in on.
A lot of people like learning. You be the teacher.
Now, I wasn't always like this. I understand what it's like to prefer to give every other excuse except for a religious excuse, especially if you do not wear the hijab (headscarf) and it isn't obvious that you are Muslim. Here's how it went down for me:
Junior year, I was a new student in a new school, something you probably already know. I wasn't THAT open about my religion (even though I wore a hijab) because I didn't want people to think I was weird. So when my friends asked me over and over again whether or not I was going to prom, at first my excuse was "I don't know yet". Then it turned into "Maybe". Then it turned into "I don't like dancing" and "I'm not a big fan of parties" until no one asked me anymore.
But now I'm a senior and a lot more comfortable with the people around me. Ironically, just about 2 weeks ago, when I was thinking of writing this blog post, the question of whether or not I was going to prom this year came up. The funny thing was, I didn't even think twice before answering. I immediately explained to those who asked that in my religion and culture, we don't go to dances because they just aren't necessary. Hanging with guys for no reason isn't something we do because we're all about being modest. My friends understood and I was surprised at how unresistant I was to just tell the truth and not make up a fake excuse. I felt like this was Allah's way of telling me, "Here, this is something to be proud of."
So Readers, my conclusion. Don't be worried to explain to people all about yourself and your beliefs. Don't be afraid to stand up and say that you're different. Yes, maybe it isn't something that a lot of people will say. Yes, you may end up the only one in your class not going (maybe, not for sure). But by not being honest about yourself and who you are, you are only lying to yourself as well as others. You aren't being true to who you are. That was a mistake I made.
It may be a little nerve-wrecking, especially if you haven't been honest like that before, but it's good to start somewhere.
I heard a quote from Wiz Khalifa the other day. FYI: I do not listen to him AT ALL no matter how many times my brother tried to get me too. Honestly, he creeps me out :P But he was on a radio commercial and something he said got me listening. He said, "I don't set out to be different. I set out to be me. And people think that's different."
Until we meet again (not at Prom) ;)
-Wishful Dreamer
P.S. Any questions or comments are more than welcome :)
Yes, Prom. While to most high school students, prom is THE night to look forward to. Is it wrong to say that I,for one, look forward to graduation more?
If you don't say you're going to prom, you end up getting a lot of "you're going to be the only one left out" or "when we meet a reunion in a few years and talk about prom, you'll be the only one who doesn't have any memories to share" or (my personal favorite) "you will miss out on so much".
I beg to differ.
I'm sorry but what will I miss out on? Dancing? Sweating? Pictures? Hanging out with friends? Dinner? Am I the only one who realizes that these things can be done anywhere or at any other time but prom. But it's PROM.
Maybe I'm being very critical here, maybe not. Some of you will agree with this, while others might disagree and beg for me to get to my point. Well here it is.
As a Muslim, I do not go to prom. Why? Well, here's why. For one, our religion does not promote unnecessary mixing between men and women/boys and girls/males and females/ whatever. But that sounds very formal and boring. So let's look at it in a better way. When you go to a dance, you get to check out a bunch of pretty girls and suited up guys. You may start to have feelings. Butterflies. Sparks. Thoughts. You name it. As a Muslim, could anything happen as a result of those feelings? No. So there's no point in bothering your mind with such unneeded burdens. Yeah, maybe it'll be a night where everyone has fun together. It'll be a time to spend with your fellow classmates, maybe one of the last dances with them if you're graduating. But there are better things you can do than go to prom. At least that's what I think.
Personally, I'd pick a Private Practice marathon over prom. But maybe that's just me. :)
So, fellow Readers, I'm not just here to criticize prom. I'm here to tell fellow Muslim girls like me (or even guys) that there is a way to let your friends know that you can't go to prom. NO they will not think you're weird. In fact, if they are your real friends, they'll respect your decision and may even be interested in the new information you are letting them in on.
A lot of people like learning. You be the teacher.
Now, I wasn't always like this. I understand what it's like to prefer to give every other excuse except for a religious excuse, especially if you do not wear the hijab (headscarf) and it isn't obvious that you are Muslim. Here's how it went down for me:
Junior year, I was a new student in a new school, something you probably already know. I wasn't THAT open about my religion (even though I wore a hijab) because I didn't want people to think I was weird. So when my friends asked me over and over again whether or not I was going to prom, at first my excuse was "I don't know yet". Then it turned into "Maybe". Then it turned into "I don't like dancing" and "I'm not a big fan of parties" until no one asked me anymore.
But now I'm a senior and a lot more comfortable with the people around me. Ironically, just about 2 weeks ago, when I was thinking of writing this blog post, the question of whether or not I was going to prom this year came up. The funny thing was, I didn't even think twice before answering. I immediately explained to those who asked that in my religion and culture, we don't go to dances because they just aren't necessary. Hanging with guys for no reason isn't something we do because we're all about being modest. My friends understood and I was surprised at how unresistant I was to just tell the truth and not make up a fake excuse. I felt like this was Allah's way of telling me, "Here, this is something to be proud of."
So Readers, my conclusion. Don't be worried to explain to people all about yourself and your beliefs. Don't be afraid to stand up and say that you're different. Yes, maybe it isn't something that a lot of people will say. Yes, you may end up the only one in your class not going (maybe, not for sure). But by not being honest about yourself and who you are, you are only lying to yourself as well as others. You aren't being true to who you are. That was a mistake I made.
It may be a little nerve-wrecking, especially if you haven't been honest like that before, but it's good to start somewhere.
I heard a quote from Wiz Khalifa the other day. FYI: I do not listen to him AT ALL no matter how many times my brother tried to get me too. Honestly, he creeps me out :P But he was on a radio commercial and something he said got me listening. He said, "I don't set out to be different. I set out to be me. And people think that's different."
Until we meet again (not at Prom) ;)
-Wishful Dreamer
P.S. Any questions or comments are more than welcome :)
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