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The different head in the crowd

And I don't mean by being the one to wear the over-the-top sparkly dress to a black and white event and standing out in a crowd.
I mean by being the only one to wrap your hair in a scarf, the only Palestinian poet at a poetry event, the only Arab Muslim woman at an international dinner, and not realizing that until leaving.
I've gotten to a point where I don't notice when I'm the only this or the only that. That's a good sign. If you spoke to me 3 years ago when I first moved back to the states, I would've told you that if someone glanced twice at me, I was sure that it was because I was Muslim.

Why am I talking about this? It seems as though most of posts repeat the same things about being proud and confident and all that. But this is a bit different. Today, I wanted to tell you all to be comfortable. Yes, comfortable, like you saw the new leather recliner at the furniture store that you decided to try out and you.don't.want.to.leave.

I know we should be proud of our different identities and always be okay with them standing out, but I also think it's just as important to be able to blend into a crowd and be comfortable with that. I've spent quite a while trying to make whatever place I am feel like home. I've tried to find friends who'll stand by me like my Palestinian friends did. I've tried to dress as I would've dressed at home and in America. I've tried remain true to who I am and what my life used to be while at the same time adjusting to all the changes life brings every day. And one of those changes was while I was at an international dinner at my college yesterday and felt completely comfortable being "the only one" again.

I'm like that in classes and such but there's always that initial moment when I notice it and then I just get used to it. But I didn't have to think about it at all yesterday. And here comes my point about being comfortable. It's important to be in a place where you know when you're sitting with people, you're not sitting as the Middle Easterner with the White girl and the Hispanic boy. It's not about race or about color or religion or anything. If you can be among people and be "the only" and not even realize it, you're in a good place. It means you are comfortable, not just with the people around you, but most importantly with yourself. I'm not saying that all of my insecurities are gone. I'm just saying that when I go the Piloxing class at the gym that I've been going to for the past year as the only Hijabi, and when I go to the open mics every other week as the only Palestinian, and when I sit with the Diversity Task Force on campus as the only Muslim representing other Muslims, I finally feel comfortable. And to be in that kind of position, after the work that we have to do in order to feel accepted, that's being on the right track.

Make your goal to be comfortable. Most of it is a reflection of how comfortable we want to be and how confident we are with being ourselves!

Keep dreaming!

-Wishful Dreamer

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