"They push me so far that I want to become the bully."
This is what Alex Libby, one of the stars of the documentary "The Bully Project" says. That isn't even one of the most heart-breaking things the then 12-year-old says in the film. The parents of another student, Alex Long, start out the movie talking about their son and his childhood, and then talk about the change in his behavior as he grew older. A few minutes into the movie, if you couldn't already tell from his father's somber and tired face, you found out that the boy had hung himself. The film also shines light on another student who cut herself and attempted suicide three times, another student who was an A student but was bullied to the point that she lost it and brought her mom's gun onto her bus, leaving her in a Juvenile Center, and other heart-wrenching stories. What is the cause of this pain and hurt? Bullying.
I hate bullying almost more than I hate war because war starts for a reason, no matter how stupid, and when it happens, the world knows about it. Bullying, however, most often starts for no reason, and many of the victims end up keeping it a secret and endure the pain on their own. Eventually, the start to believe that they probably deserve it, and they get used to it.
There's a part in the movie where Alex's mom sits him down to talk to him about what the kids on the bus have been doing to him. Between calling him names they should, slapping him, hitting him, poking him, the boy's had enough. His mother is upset that he hasn't told her any of this (the director showed her the tapes when he saw how much the situation was escalating) and she asks him if he feels good when they hit him. His answer? I'm starting to think I don't feel anything. That was the moment when I thought about just how scary it is for parents to think that they're sending their children to school, a safe place for them to grown up and become great people, only to find out that their child's nightmares live on the bus ride to school, in the hallways, in the bathrooms. And they don't know anything about it.
What's even worse is when Alex's parents go to the school to speak to the principal about it, she tells him that she's been on the bus and the kids were as "good as gold". Are you kidding me? That infuriated me more than anything. His parents were given excuses and then ushered out the door.
My initial thought for all the kids in the movie was why don't they just transfer to another school rather than endure such emotional and physical pain, but one of the students gave me my answer: She didn't want her bullies to think they won. The situation is just complicated and difficult between wanting to be strong and wanting to give up, which is the moment when many of them try to take their lives or actually do it.
Suicide is wrong on so many levels. By cutting or taking drugs or hurting yourself, you've only become your own bully to deal with the other bully. There has to be an outlet for students like the ones in the film and the million others who also deal with this everyday in front of people's closed eyes. Every student has the right to feel safe, especially in school.
And where the heck are there parents? That drove me crazy throughout the whole entire film. Instead of just pulling the bully aside and lecturing him or her, why don't you call their parents?? Why can't they discipline their children and tell them how UNFAIR it is to make someone feel worthless.
Unfortunately, bullying looks like a problem that's going to be nearly impossible to stop. You can't stop every single bully and teach them to stop it. But we can spread the word about how wrong it is and hope that people who know a victim of bullying can be there for them and prevent them from taking drastic measures to hurting themselves or relieving themselves of this pain. The only way bullying will end is when we teach the victims that LIFE GETS BETTER, and that they should be strong and not give their lives over to this bully.
Spread the word. Don't be silent. Help someone.
Here's the trailer of the film. Check it out when you can. It will really make a difference in the way you see this issue. And of course, pass it on.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1g9RV9OKhg
-Wishful Dreamer
This is what Alex Libby, one of the stars of the documentary "The Bully Project" says. That isn't even one of the most heart-breaking things the then 12-year-old says in the film. The parents of another student, Alex Long, start out the movie talking about their son and his childhood, and then talk about the change in his behavior as he grew older. A few minutes into the movie, if you couldn't already tell from his father's somber and tired face, you found out that the boy had hung himself. The film also shines light on another student who cut herself and attempted suicide three times, another student who was an A student but was bullied to the point that she lost it and brought her mom's gun onto her bus, leaving her in a Juvenile Center, and other heart-wrenching stories. What is the cause of this pain and hurt? Bullying.
I hate bullying almost more than I hate war because war starts for a reason, no matter how stupid, and when it happens, the world knows about it. Bullying, however, most often starts for no reason, and many of the victims end up keeping it a secret and endure the pain on their own. Eventually, the start to believe that they probably deserve it, and they get used to it.
There's a part in the movie where Alex's mom sits him down to talk to him about what the kids on the bus have been doing to him. Between calling him names they should, slapping him, hitting him, poking him, the boy's had enough. His mother is upset that he hasn't told her any of this (the director showed her the tapes when he saw how much the situation was escalating) and she asks him if he feels good when they hit him. His answer? I'm starting to think I don't feel anything. That was the moment when I thought about just how scary it is for parents to think that they're sending their children to school, a safe place for them to grown up and become great people, only to find out that their child's nightmares live on the bus ride to school, in the hallways, in the bathrooms. And they don't know anything about it.
What's even worse is when Alex's parents go to the school to speak to the principal about it, she tells him that she's been on the bus and the kids were as "good as gold". Are you kidding me? That infuriated me more than anything. His parents were given excuses and then ushered out the door.
My initial thought for all the kids in the movie was why don't they just transfer to another school rather than endure such emotional and physical pain, but one of the students gave me my answer: She didn't want her bullies to think they won. The situation is just complicated and difficult between wanting to be strong and wanting to give up, which is the moment when many of them try to take their lives or actually do it.
Suicide is wrong on so many levels. By cutting or taking drugs or hurting yourself, you've only become your own bully to deal with the other bully. There has to be an outlet for students like the ones in the film and the million others who also deal with this everyday in front of people's closed eyes. Every student has the right to feel safe, especially in school.
And where the heck are there parents? That drove me crazy throughout the whole entire film. Instead of just pulling the bully aside and lecturing him or her, why don't you call their parents?? Why can't they discipline their children and tell them how UNFAIR it is to make someone feel worthless.
Unfortunately, bullying looks like a problem that's going to be nearly impossible to stop. You can't stop every single bully and teach them to stop it. But we can spread the word about how wrong it is and hope that people who know a victim of bullying can be there for them and prevent them from taking drastic measures to hurting themselves or relieving themselves of this pain. The only way bullying will end is when we teach the victims that LIFE GETS BETTER, and that they should be strong and not give their lives over to this bully.
Spread the word. Don't be silent. Help someone.
Here's the trailer of the film. Check it out when you can. It will really make a difference in the way you see this issue. And of course, pass it on.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1g9RV9OKhg
-Wishful Dreamer
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